Episode 12



00:00                                         Hey you guys, welcome to another episode of The Lisa Show. I’m Lisa Natoli, thank you for joining me. I wanted to talk about failing forward. I wanna inspire you to take some chances, to start moving forward, and to stop being stuck.

00:15                                         I’m gonna read a little tiny bit from workbook lesson 131 of A Course in Miracles, no one can fail who seeks to reach the truth. And I wanna read a few of the messages that have come in on my Facebook page. I invited people to post about this topic, failing forward, and I just love the comments. So you’re gonna be hearing some clicking noises here as I go over to my Facebook page.

00:47                                         For those of you who are new, welcome. I’m Lisa Natoli. My website is lisanatoli.com. Check out the Podcast page, I do a lot of talks about healing and transformation. Lots of great online programs over there. The 40 Day Program for Transformation is totally free, it’s a great way to get activated to get unstuck, and that’s what I’m talking about today.

01:16                                         So failing forward is a fairly well known idea in leadership books and inspiration books. It’s the idea that you’re moving. So often we stay stuck, waiting for something outside of us to change, and then we’ll make a move. Or we’re waiting until we think we can do something perfectly, and then we’ll make a move. But it’s not possible to do things perfectly.

01:45                                         And that was my situation for my whole life. I just stayed in a space of being absolutely stuck, because I was afraid of people saying what I was doing was stupid. I was afraid of making a mistake. And years went by. First weeks go by, and then months go by, and then years go by. And at a certain point, you recognize, my God, my whole life is passing me by.

02:12                                         So what I would love for this episode to be for you, is simply and activation point where you begin to feel excited about doing new things. And I’m going to tell you what I would like to do, and what I have been wanting to do, but I’ve not been doing, because of fear. And I wanna start making videos, I wanna start making really short fun videos, and post them probably on my public Facebook page, which I have not been using for very long.

02:47                                         The ones that I’m inspired by right now, are Jennifer Garner’s Pretend Cooking episodes, they are so fun. They’re short, she’s in her pajamas, her hair’s a mess, she’s licking her fingers out of the bowl. They’re really short, they’re so fun. And I have no idea how to do videos like that, but I’m inspired by the way she’s showing up.

03:17                                         And often, that’s what happens in life, is that you see someone else doing something, and you’re inspired by it. And I love when I see people being authentic like that. I love seeing her in her pajamas, you know? She’s got these really cute flannel pajamas, one of them has embroidered on it the word mama. And I’ve been wanting to make videos for a long time, but I have some idea about it that I’m not ready. Of course, that’s the ego, that’s the fear voice in our minds that are telling us that some time in the future there’s going to come some magical moment, and we will start moving.

04:01                                         I just wanted to say a few things about failure. And I want you to think about, what is it that you have been wanting to do, that you’re not doing, that you’re going to start to do. Are you willing to show up now, and make mistakes? Can you take an action and stop waiting, and fail forward? I love that, because that’s movement.

04:24                                         And if I look at those Jennifer Garner videos, there’s mistakes all over the map in them. Usually they’re just three minute videos, she trips over her words, she makes a mess in the kitchen. She doesn’t care. And the camera keeps rolling. And I’m sitting over here watching them, thinking this is the most brilliant thing ever. And that’s what I want really for myself.

04:52                                         There’s this great line in A Course of Miracles, that talks about what you think are your successes are often failures, and what you think are your failures are often successes. It says here in workbook lesson 131, no one can fail who seeks to reach the truth. Failure is all about you while you seek for goals that cannot be achieved, you look for permanence in the impermanent, for love where there is none, for safety in the midst of danger, immortality within the darkness of the dream of death.

05:31                                         Who could succeed where contradiction is the setting of his searching, and the place to which he comes to find stability? Goals that are meaningless are not attained. There is no way to reach them, for the means by which you strive for them are meaningless as they are. Who can use such senseless means and hope through them to gain in anything? Where can they lead, and what could they achieve that offers any hope of being real?

06:06                                         Yet searching is inevitable here, for this you came, and you will surely do the thing you came for. I love that. But the world cannot dictate the goal for which you search, unless you give it power to do so. Otherwise, you still are free to choose a goal that lies beyond the world, and every worldly thought, and one that comes to you from an idea relinquished yet remembered, old yet new, an echo of a heritage forgot, yet holding everything you really want. Be glad that search you must. Be glad as well to learn you search for heaven, and must find the goal you really want.

06:52                                         So that’s amazing, because what happens when you are stuck is, you’re not moving, there’s not movement there. You’re not finding the blocks and the obstacles to the awareness of love’s presence. So when you’re in a state where you’re recognizing the fear, and you have a willingness to do something about it, that’s the transformation, that’s what you want.

07:19                                         For me to recognize, I really wanna do videos but I’m not ready yet, and ego will simple convince you that something will change in time, and then you’ll do the thing you wanna do. What we’re doing here, when the topic is about transformation and waking up, is you’re recognizing the fear. You’re recognizing you’re excuses. You’re recognizing where you’re staying stuck, and you will not tolerate it anymore. You say, okay that’s enough of that, and I’m just going to do the thing I want to do, and I’m gonna be okay with it. I love that.

08:00                                         And so, I wanna move over here and read you some of these comments, they’re so good. Marina says, once you start living this way, there is no turning back. As with all things, it’s the initial step that requires a leap of faith, but it brings so much joy.

08:18                                         And I love these next ones. Violet says, will move to Hawaii. Laurie says, it’s very humbling to fail. And I love that, because humbling, that’s a beautiful state to be in. Jolieto says, thank you for this topic, more and more are realizing that the fear to fail is playing a part in my life, the fear to fail walks hand-in-hand with the fear of success and empowerment, the other side of the coin really. I think I’d be more playful with life. I love that.

08:53                                         Stacy says, failure to one is growth for anther. Just how we perceive it, to me there is no failure. And that’s the truth, there is no failure. To me, the only failure that there is, is when you’re staying stuck. And you actually know the difference between doing nothing, and relaxing, and feeling happy and at peace, versus where you feel frustrated because you know that you want to do things and you’re not. You know the difference. So if you really love your life, and you really love however you’re living and celebrate and rejoice, but you know the difference. You know if there’s something you wanna do and you’re not doing it, and there’s fear going on there. You wanna be able to see that.

09:44                                         Camilla says, I have to start a new education. Rachel says, sounds great, for me I will do what I do, but more fully. I feel like I am just doing a smidgen, because of blocks and fears. Pamela says, for two years I have been sitting on an idea that came to me in meditation. I know that I have let the ego stall me in moving forward. All the doubt and hesitations you experience, will it be successful? Will people like it? Is this the right logo? And on, and on. Well, how do I know what will happen? Who am I to judge. I love that. And that’s the thing, you don’t know. Well I am moving forward and trusting the Holy Spirit. Lisa, I look forward to this show as I do all your shows, and look at it as a sign from the Holy Spirit that I am headed in the right direction. Failing is only practice to know what to do better. Amen. Thank you so much Pamela.

10:50                                         I was reading this great story that seemed like an epic fail, but actually turned out to be a major success later on. But the guy who is the creator of Diet Coke, came up with the idea New Coke. I don’t know if any of you remember that time, it was years ago. And Diet Coke had been such a huge successes that they thought, okay well we’re seeing our sales go down increasingly over the years with the competition with Pepsi. And Coca Cola had been around for over 100 years with the same exact formula, but they thought that they should now change the formula, that would improve their sales.

11:38                                         So the guy that came up with Diet Coke comes up with New Coke. And New Coke was an epic failure. It lasted for 79 days, people hated it. That guy got fired. Coca Cola lost $100 million on New Coke, and seems like it’s a failure, right? Well, what they did was they brought back Coca Cola, and the sales skyrocketed through the roof, and they have remained that way ever since.

12:12                                         And so, I love that story, you know? They never brought the guy back, but I think they should have. But it actually wasn’t a failure. They needed to take Coca Cola away from the people and to say, okay we’re not having that as a product anymore. And people recognized, we want it back. And so, you can never know the bigger picture. You can really never know what’s happening on a larger scale. And in that sense, you’re no longer concerned with the outcome, you’re no longer concerned with the results.

12:47                                         Because what happens in that space, is you stepping into this power, and you will feel it, you will feel more vibrant, you will feel energized, you will feel at peace. And if you have ever experienced the feeling of accomplishment, there’s nothing like it. It is the best feeling ever to have done something, and to have seen it all the way through, and to just feel, I did it. It doesn’t matter if anyone likes it.

13:22                                         Over the years, it’s been interesting for to watch, how in the beginning when I started blogging, and that was around 2004, I used to blog every single day. And I used to be concerned with the numbers. Like, who’s reading my blog, who’s commenting, who likes it, who doesn’t like it. And, somewhere along the way over the years, I stopped caring about the numbers, and I wrote for the joy of it. I really got into this place of only wanting to experience that feeling of accomplishment, of sitting down in front of the computer and seeing what comes out of my mind. And that was the full accomplishment, and I stopped looking at the numbers. I stopped caring about how many people like it or don’t like it. Because the success was in the writing of it.

14:23                                         I thought the success was going to be in the result of it. Maybe somebody will give me money, or maybe I’ll get a book deal, or maybe people will like it. But what I discovered, is that the success of it was in the creativity part, it was in the place where I was so looking forward to seeing what was coming from my mind onto the page. And so, you became a child again. You step back into a place of fun, and play, and curiosity, and wonder.

14:59                                         Laurie says, I’ve been thinking a lot about this very topic, failing forward, this week. Funny how that always happens. Cami says, go back to school. Elaine says, it’s much more fun to fail forward, staying stuck is not living. Amen.

15:20                                         Janet says, as a recovering perfectionist, I embrace any opportunity for encouragement to move forward, regardless of whether or not I can do it perfectly. I’m looking forward to listening to the show. Thank you, Janet.

15:36                                         And I do encourage you to move forward. And what I ask of everyone listening, is to find something that you’re going to do, and go and do it. Whatever that project has been that you’ve been thinking about, if there’s a phone call you’ve been wanting to make. A lot of people say, they next one says, totally change my career. So we have people that wanna go back to school.

16:04                                         And then I posted a quote from Hunter S. Thompson. And I love this. It says, life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body. But rather, to skid in broadside, in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, wow what a ride. I love that.

16:35                                         And that’s what it is. Like, what are we waiting for? What are you waiting for? This is it. And you don’t wanna get to the end and realize that there was so much that you wanted to do and you didn’t do. And now you can see that there’s support. There’s so many people that do want to live boldly, and live vibrantly.

16:55                                         Laura says, contrasting is what the journey is all about. I have to see what I don’t want to know what I do want, yet can’t get it wrong, and you’ll never get it done. That is so true. And Arthur says, wow what a ride, love this.

17:13                                         So, I love you guys, and I encourage you to start failing forward. I encourage you to be open to making mistakes, to doing things and not expecting it to be perfect, and just to really get off the sidelines. And to look at the fear. Really use any idea that’s coming to you and say, okay, this is a block in my mind. I’m not gonna let it go underground anymore. I wanna see what my fear is.

17:44                                         To me, that’s the whole value of doing things. It’s not about the doing of it. It’s that it shows you the unconscious fear that’s been hiding out, and now you’re seeing it. You’re seeing, wow, I’ve been terrified. I’m terrified of being criticized, I’m terrified of making a mistake. And that’s the whole point of it, you begin to see it and you recognize you can’t make a mistake, you can’t get it wrong. Because no one can fail who seeks to reach the truth.

18:14                                         I’m gonna read the last little bit of this workbook lesson as I end. I love this lesson so much. This we acknowledge as we start upon our practice periods, begin with this, I ask to see a different world and think a different kind of thought from those I made. The world I seek I did not make alone. The thoughts I want to think are not my own.

18:39                                         For several minutes, watch your mind and see, although your eyes are closed, the senseless world you think is real. Review the thoughts as well, which are compatible with such a world, and which you think are true. Then let them go, and sink below them to the Holy place where they can enter nought. There is a door beneath them in your mind, which you could not completely lock to hide what lies beyond. Seek for that door and find it.

19:14                                         So you have your eyes closed now. And we’re asking the question, here in this workbook less, why wait for heaven? And what A Course in Miracles says, is that heaven is a state of mind. It’s a state of joy. It is a state of peace. Why wait for that state? It’s here now. It’s right here, it’s here today. Time is the great illusion that it’s in the past or it’s in the future. But it’s here now.

19:46                                         And today you’re gonna find that state of mind. And I love this practice in here, because it’s asking us to leave all foolish thoughts behind, those are all fear thoughts. Turn your mind to true ideas instead. No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth, and it is truth we seek to reach today. We will devote 10 minutes to this goal three times today, and we will ask to see the rising of the real world to replace the foolish images we hold dear, with true ideas arising in the place of thoughts that have no meaning, no effect, and neither source nor substance in truth. So we’re finding this door, seek for that door and find it. But before you try to open it, remind yourself that no one can fail who seeks to reach the truth. And it is this request you make today, nothing but this has any meaning now. No other goal is valued now, nor sought. Nothing before this door you really want, and only what lies past it do you seek. Put out your hand and see how easily the door swings open, with your one intent to go beyond it. Angles light the way, so that all darkness vanishes, and you are standing in a light so bright and clear, that you can understand all things you see.

21:22                                         A tiny moment of surprise perhaps, will make you pause, before you realize the world you see before you in the light reflects the truth you knew and did not quite forget in wondering away in dreams. You cannot fail today. There walks with you this spirit heaven sent you, that you might approach this door someday, and through his aid, slip effortlessly past it to the light. Today that day has come. Today, God keeps His ancient promise to His Holy Son, as does His Son remember His to Him.

22:03                                         This is a day of gladness, for we come to the appointed time and place where you will find the goal of all your searching here. And all the seeking of the world, which end together as you pass beyond the door. Remember often that today should be a time of special gladness, and refrain from dismal thoughts and meaningless laments. Salvation’s time has come.

22:32                                         Bill found this great interview with Eckhart Tolle, and he is talking about A Course in Miracles. And it sounds like Eckhart Tolle’s not completely familiar with A Course in Miracles, but he’s been looking at it, and he’s been reading Marianne Williamson’s book. Said an interesting thing that I loved, is that you can replace the word salvation with enlightenment. I love that. Enlightenment’s time has come. Salvation is enlightenment. Today is sent by heaven itself to be a time of grace for you and for the world. If you forget this happy fact, remind yourself with this. Today I seek and find all that I want. My single purpose offers it to me. No one can fail who seeks to reach the truth. Amen.

23:22                                         So you cannot fail, it is not possible. You’re seeking the truth now. You’re seeking to know who you really are as a light of the world. So I ask you to sit and just reflect on these idea this week. Find that door. Find out where you’re being blocked. Find out what the fear is.

23:41                                         I love the other one here. There’s a comment here about Susan Jeffers’ book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, a great philosophy. And that’s it. Feel the fear and do it anyways. Thank you so much, because often we think, well I feel fear, so it must not be time. Like we’re waiting for a perfect moment. But feel the fear, see the fear, and do it anyways. Do something about the fear. The way you dissolve fear is through stepping forward. Step right through it. Fear then dissolves.

24:18                                         So thank you so much for listening. I love you with all my heart. Have an awesome week.