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4 things that stop people from being truly alive, bold and happy.

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Jan 02, 2017

Have you had an idea to do something – and then you didn’t do it?

Or maybe you started – you took a first step (bought a book, signed up for a workshop) – but then you stopped within the first few days.

Name it.

That “thing” (that you want to do, that you know would move you forward) has probably already crossed your mind.

Perhaps it’s exercising on a daily basis.
Starting a new business.
Writing a book, blog or website.
Maybe you have an idea to go outside more.
Play more.
Live more.
Engage more.
Be more active with friends and family.

Or maybe it’s the opposite: to unplug more, rest more, relax and enjoy.

Today, write it down. Get it out of your head and put it on paper.

Then think about these questions:

Are there routines/bad habits in your life that you know you should break? What are they?

Write them down.

Are there new routines that you know would serve you and make you feel great? What are they?

Write them down.

What stopped you?

Here is what stops me:

1. Discomfort. This is the one that gets me almost every time when I want to try something new. For example, I KNOW that exercising/sweating on a daily basis gives me high levels of energy and makes me feel great. I know this. So why don’t I do it? Discomfort. It’s too cold outside. It’s too hot outside. It’s raining. It’s dark. (the excuses are endless). It’s too far to drive to the gym. I don’t have the time. I’d rather stay in, sitting on the couch. My resistance to exercise is so high that often I can’t even motivate myself to do 10 jumping jacks while I wait for the coffee to brew. Now, come on. What’s up with this? How can I not do 10 jumping jacks? Discomfort. We as humans live in a “comfort zone” which after a while becomes the discomfort zone.

You know the frog in the water story? If you throw a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will jump out.
If you put a frog in cold water with the heat on, it will just sit there until it dies.

In these studies, if the water is heated too quickly, the frog WILL jump out and that’s why often in our life there are events that push us to move and change: a loss of job, a death, a sickness, a tragedy. But often, the heat is NOT TURNED UP QUICKLy we just sit in our lives, not moving.

Welcome to the human condition. We stay in “comfortable” situations, not realizing we are slowly dying.

Get out of the pan. Shake up your routine. Try new things.

2. Fear of Failure. What’s interesting about this one is that we fear failure if we do something new, but actually we are failing if we do nothing and continue to keep drifting through life. If you have an idea to do something, go do it. Be bold. Give it your all. If you fail, GREAT! You tried. You will be in a new place. You will have learned some things. Then dust yourself off, get up and keep going.

3. Fear of Other People’s Remarks/Criticism. I get criticism almost every time I post a blog post. I’ll get 100 great comments thanking me for sharing and then one comment from someone saying to me: “Who do you think you are?” and that one comment has had the power to stop me from writing ever again. In honesty, I receive several negative comments whenever I post. Some people say to me “I’m disappointed in you.” I’ve come to realize this just comes with the territory. I usually get around 20 unsubscribes from my mailing list every time I send a message and a couple of complaints, people reporting me. I have had people question me, bully me, and post things about me on the internet. I’ve had people tell me I’m an ego, a show-off, selfish and that I don’t care about anyone except myself. I’ve been told my writing is bad. I’ve been told my teaching is bad.

But here is the thing: I feel AMAZING whenever I post a new article and step out of my comfort zone. It feels scary at first, but then it feels great. I feel happy, alive, bold and free. 

4. The “Why Bother?” Syndrome. I see this one a lot in spiritual communities. I saw it a lot in myself for many years. People say “It’s a dream, why bother?” UMMM. Why bother? Because there is a voice in your head, telling you do something. You should do it. That should be reason enough. If you are receiving instruction/guidance to do something, change something, to take a step – then do what it says. How simple! It’s your own Mind, guiding you to your own happiness. But what happens? The ego-mind shuts it down with a spiritual concept like “I need do nothing. There is no world. It’s an illusion. It’s a dream.” This here is the frog in the water syndrome again. You are just staying where you are = La-Di-Da – wondering when your life is going to start. Meanwhile, the water is getting hotter and you start to notice you don’t feel so good. You don’t have as much energy as you know you could. You start to feel seriously stuck.

What will you change?

I decide on the goal I would achieve. I am in charge of my energy, focus, attention and time.

frog_in_boiling_water_syndrome

I would love to hear from you. Post your comments below.

32 Responses to “4 things that stop people from being truly alive, bold and happy.”

  1. Linda FS says:

    Thanks so much for this “boiled frog” messcge. It hit the spot and -as always- just seeing hour lovely face and cozy sweaters is always amazingly comforting and at yhe same time good “kick in the butt”. Love, LindaFS

  2. Sherri says:

    Perfect Timing. The water is getting pretty warm! Thank you for the inspiration.

  3. Christie Javied says:

    Thank you Lisa.
    That was an inspiring article.
    I feel motivated.

  4. Michael Gabriel says:

    The dreamy frog is

  5. Michael Gabriel says:

    Sorry sent the draft by mistake.

    For my most of my life I have lived in a warming pot, like many people in a western, and mostly God-less culture. Thank you for
    your story, I will share it with my clients (I’m a psychotherapist). With much appreciation, Lisa.

  6. Joan de Groot says:

    O yes, as usual you are hitting right on target sweetheart! I feel wonderful when I swim a few times a week, but ooooh, to get back into the routine after having abandoned it for years now, ever since we moved and don’t live so close to the swimming pool anymore ! I know that procrastinating includes me shivering on the edge of the pool, sticking one toe in the water and crying it’s too damn cold! I really laugh at myself, because I also know that after just jumping in I feel great, don’t mind the cold anymore and have all of the other great side-effects …. comfort zone, comfort zone, grrrrr… Also, these days it just takes me 15 minutes with God and I feel exuberant1 So what would I want to swim for? Well,because I DO live inside a body and since this body likes swimming and feels wonderful afterwards, I might as well take care of it! Right? Right! So guess what I’ll be doing tomorrow? Hugya!!!

  7. Autumn says:

    Lisa, you are such an inspiration . Please continue to write and post. The people sending you criticism might not be ready to release the world through forgiveness…Al you can do is. Forgive them then yourself for dreaming them up…. And I will too!! Xoxo

  8. This is the second time in three days that I am hearing this same message… about acting at the point of inspiration. Now to listen to the voice that is calling me to act!

  9. Donna Wiesenhahn says:

    Spot on…..and always love the total honesty of how so many things happen…or not!! Brace and courageous you are.

  10. JOAN ACKERMAN says:

    Great blog, Lisa ! Keep it up !
    Love, and light, joani

  11. David Francis says:

    This really sums up my own resistance process. ‘Fear of failure’, and even success, is so closely linked to the perceived reactions of others. The ‘why bother’ is a great escape route into the comfort zone. Great reminder – thanks so much.

  12. Bonnie Powell says:

    Your blogs always open my mind. God bless you Lisa for being such a power of example to me!

  13. Roy says:

    Thx Sunshine! I was so clearly guided by Spirit to spend time with an old hobby. It was bringing me a great deal of joy and energy, but I just stalled lately for no good reason. I was just sitting here killing time reading email when I had planned to finally get back to it today. And now I am! PS – I love you!

  14. patrick brady says:

    Hi Lisa thank you for a fantastic article. You have been a blessing in my life. I have come through years of tension and fear because of banks. But no matter what was happening you were always there to lift me i love you and thank you so much

  15. Gabriela says:

    Every time I want to jump out of the pan the memory of my history on my enterprises says that I won’t go far because I have not done it in the past. So, what has changed for me to believe differently? I question my motives and ask if I need outside validation to prove that I am good enough. Then, I tell myself that if it makes me happy is good enough. Then a voice says that I should stop doing things for me and do it for a bigger purpose. Such as helping others see their own strengths and power to achieve their dreams. I have rationalized every type of fear and excuse and I am the best at it. I want to believe beyond doubt that I am living with purpose and that this is the purpose of living!

  16. Ariel says:

    Thank You for this message about the frog! My water has been getting way too hot!

  17. Rebecca Johnson says:

    Lisa,
    Are you for real? I really sometimes can not believe you are in my life….in my world and I got picked up in your orbit….I LOVE this short, sweet and very honest Blog. This is so true and should really be addressed and every question answered truly and honestly…which I am doing. I love you and keep up the inspiration I know we all inspire you just as much as you inspire us.
    I love you and we are really Teachers of God.
    Love Rebecca

  18. Sanjeev says:

    Why bother – is what I am relating to. Only recently I woke up from dream of metaphysical ghosting where I was shoving things down saying it is only an illusion, nothing outside of me exists etc etc. that is not the teaching as I realized I need to do what I am guided and do it from space of love and light. Miracle is a shift in perception of the world and I still live in the world physically and world lives in me mentally. Discomfort is another one I can relate to.

  19. Jack says:

    I can relate to all four. You do a great job, Lisa. I would never criticize you, and I don’t pick on myself either. But I could use some more motivation. I’ve had health challenges since 2002, and it’s not getting any better. I don’t like to whine, because I love God, I love the Holy Spirit, and I love Jesus.

  20. karin says:

    thank you so much, Lisa. Everything you say resonates with me. I started jumping out of my comfort zone for a few months now and I can feel the differnce.. I am more alive, joyful, blissful than before. This is the way to start a new life !!! Yippie !!!!!

    • Rhett Billings says:

      Thank you, Lisa! This really hit home for me. The ego never ceases to amaze me. There’s simply no comparison between living in fear vs. living in Love… and yet I choose the fear over and over again. This is one of the most baffling mysteries I’ve ever encountered. The secret is action. When I take action, I almost always feel better.

    • Rose-Marie Willems says:

      Thank you so much for your blog. It helps me a lot. I have ideas but I do’nt do anything with them.

  21. Diane Tufts says:

    I have been aware of the first three being true for me for a long time, but the realization of just how much “spiritual bypassing” (number 4) I have been doing has been coming to me from several directions just lately. Think I am finally getting the message, and I have already started moving on some things directed at the body level that feel like a real shift for me. Thank you for the reminder and encouragement.

  22. Shelley DeRitis says:

    Read your blog and so related to all four points and especially number 3, criticism. I dont want folks thinking less of me and I don’t want to disappoint them.
    It’s tiring trying to change things and scary too. I’m a sit on the fencer. I only jump off when the pain is unbearable.
    Right now I’m at an unforgiving job almost 15 years and I want to leave but no balls and no trust in God’s direction. It’s one thing to worry about my own well-being but my husband is wrapped up in here too. My job pays fully for both of our healthcare plans. Im in my late 60’s, still very vital and full of fear.
    Let me end this on a positive note.
    Each day I take action in some small way. Getting up early, praying, packing breakfast and lunch, being accountable. Thanks for your insight Lisa.

  23. Mary C. says:

    I relate to them very much. I was criticized very deeply when I was in the Doyle;s class for offering to do ministry, criticized so deeply I stopped, and did not get my ministry .

  24. Mary C. says:

    I relate to what you shared, I easily get into a rut.And there are so many things I would like to do. I was in another class for A course related ministry that I loved very much. It impacted me when the person who did not know me, was very unkind to me.

  25. Betinna Silke says:

    Thank you Lisa,
    For being bold, alive and honest<3
    You are such an inspiration! Thank you GOD, that I am inspired to listening to the Holy Spirits voice through you dear sister xoxo

  26. Karen Parker says:

    Yes! Exactly what I needed to hear! I thought,at first, that I was reading something I had written about myself, but,wait!!!! I haven’t written anything in ages! Just one of my cold pot stories I could tell about myself. Thanks, Lisa. As always, you hi the nail on the head. Namaste!

  27. Mary C. says:

    I have tried to reply 2 times and submitted my replies. I wanted to share I relate to what you had shared about reactions to criticism until you practice the 4 steps you shared. I have heard the frog story before thank you for shating. Love Mary C.

  28. Nancy Benjamin says:

    Awesome. Thank you. Action after inspiration. Perfect. I moved to Charleston, SC last winter from Upstate New York to escape the winters. Going back and forth every 6 months is stressful but so worth it. I feel alive. Thanks for the reminder! Get off the couch!

  29. Frances James says:

    Excellent! Thanks for this, Lisa. A strong message (a good kick in the pants) is a positive thing, overall, and I appreciate it! 🙂

  30. Laura Fortin says:

    I can relate to all of this! Thank you for bringing it to the front, and for continuing to listen to your inner voice, nudging you to blog despite the judgments…what a great way to call in the forgiveness opportunities! Love.