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How training your mind to not tell your story can heal your life

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Mar 23, 2017

The most powerful thing you can do for yourself and for others is to remember the truth beyond the appearance – to see someone beyond their story.

A Course in Miracles says that “charity is a way of looking at another as if he had already gone far beyond his actual accomplishments in time.”

This is what I do. I see everyone as whole and perfect. It’s a decision I made to live in this way – to see with Christ vision. I hear their stories, I see what people believe about themselves but I look right past it all to the light that is there – and I respond only to that.

It’s a choice and a decision I made to live in this way.

I am the creator of the 40-Day Program for Transformation which thousands of people have taken and transformed their lives, through the practice of A Course in Miracles.

I’m very grateful to witness first-hand that there really is no order of difficulty in miracles.

We have a private Facebook group and so I get to see first-hand how people sabotage their own process.

I’m also the co-creator (with my husband Bill Free) of the Living in Purpose Program which is a 6-month Mastery Program for miracle-minded thinking – which also has its own private Facebook group.

My favorite thing that I love is hearing from the people in Living in Purpose who write to me and say they used to do what many people in the 40-Day program currently do in the Facebook group when they show up as newcomers – telling their story – and how at the time when they first began this work they thought it was normal to tell people their story.

One of the suggested requirements in the 40-Day Program is to make a 40 day commitment to stop telling your story so that you can become aware of the thoughts, feelings, emotions that are there. When you tell your story of how things are going in your life, you don’t give yourself a chance to pause, look and listen.

We have all been programmed since our arrival in time/space to report on the details of whatever the body’s eyes and ears show us.

Telling your story of being a victim, being sick, having no money, detailing what other people are doing to you, talking about your resentments and grievances and aches and pains is not helpful.

Quite literally people don’t know what they are doing when they “innocently” tell their story of what is occurring in their life. They don’t know that merely by thinking and talking about the details of their circumstances of whatever events are happening they are keeping themselves stuck in the very thing they don’t want.

They have a pain and they think ‘I have a pain” and then they post it on Facebook or they say to someone “I have a pain. Please pray for me.”

To many, this seems normal.

And then everyone jumps on board with advice, compassion, love and prayers.

Now to many, this seems kind and loving. The person who has asked for the prayer gets lots of attention. The person giving the prayer gets to feel they are being helpful, needed and useful.

But here is the thing: while the person asking for prayer gets lots of attention, they don’t actually get out of their situation because they haven’t looked at the underlying buried unconscious pattern/program that is causing the pain, sickness or problem.

Whatever seems to be occurring in your life is a mirror of your beliefs and thoughts. Some of these patterns come from childhood, things you heard. Other things come from your own self-hatred which you cover up with kindness.

But what very few individuals have the boldness to do is speak up and say ‘Hey, watch your thoughts and words. They are creating your reality. Have the willingness and courage to look at what is causing this situation to occur.”

Many on a spiritual path make themselves guilty for their sickness and problems. They attack and condemn themselves because they “know better” (for example they know they are causing their problems and pain (on an intellectual level) but they still see difficulties, so they blame themselves.

A better kinder approach is to be aware that whatever is occurring in your life is a gift for you to look at – so you can see what is coming up to be healed.

Don’t pray for the problem/sickness/difficulty to disappear. Pray that you find out what is the buried block and obstacles that caused it. Say THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THIS.

Whenever you try to fix or heal a problem in your life, you miss an opportunity to heal the program, the pattern, the unconscious guilt, the lack of love.

This is why I ask everyone in the 40-Day Program to write a commitment letter in the 3-Day Preparation Phase when they begin. This is why I invite people to stop telling stories for 40 days.

Many people think I am simply being militant or being “the police” when I ask this. They think I am being too hard on them. They think I should be “more understanding” for how difficult their life is. I should be more compassionate.

Some people think I am being cold and mean. What they don’t know in that moment is my DEEP LOVE FOR THEM. I don’t tolerate lack of love in myself or in others. It’s that simple.

I abide with Jesus with thousands of others who have joined me in this place.

I THANK GOD for the people in my life who didn’t tolerate my own victim sob stories of limitation, lack and fear. I’m grateful for these individuals who told me to knock it off, cut it out, grow up, stop telling that story.

Off the top of my head I am thinking of the Master Teacher, Greta Jonker, Max Just, Vicki Poppe, Bill Free, Katja Maria Strandgaard, Flemming Engstrom, Brendon Burchard and Marie Forleo.

Thank you guys. These are a few of the ones in my corner who don’t let me get away with staying small.

Later – often months and months later (sometimes YEARS later!) – is when I get all the thank you/love letters from people telling me that my asking them to stop telling their story is the best thing that ever happened to them.

Make a decision to train your mind to watch what you are thinking, what you are saying, what you are doing.

So two things here I invite you to do:

  1. Pay attention to when you are telling stories – this includes when you are “thinking” about the details of you life. All thoughts have power. Then realize you can choose to see things differently. Choose to remember the truth about yourself: that you are a child of God, complete and healed and whole, shining in the reflection of God’s Love. “In you is love perfected, fear impossible and joy established without opposite.” -A Course in Miracles
  2. Don’t tolerate lack of love in yourself or anyone else. You are the light of the world. You are not a victim. You are not your ideas. You are not helpless. If you see someone suffering or struggling, remind them of the truth.

If you are ready for a new experience, now is the time.

I would love to hear from you if you used to tell stories (thinking it was normal) and now you don’t. What’s your practice?

13 Responses to “How training your mind to not tell your story can heal your life”

  1. Amy Mossman says:

    Thanks so much for this, Lisa! Sometimes things start to get comfortable or too “busy” for the Course, and never do I realize how much I depend on it until *WHAM* something hits me upside the head from left field and I suddenly feel all of those awful feelings. I’ve printed off a few of your comments above to keep with me as well as the 2 things you’ve invited us to do. Thanks so much for these clear cut reminders. ~ Love Amy

  2. Teena davis says:

    Thank you for telling us all not to tell stories. I thought it was ok. I just wanted to tell thanks. Your 40 days program is great. I was just wondering if this program gets us to feel God’s love. How come we don’t start out in prayer or end in prayer? And ask for his guideness. Just wondering. Thanks Lisa. God bless

  3. Jean says:

    you are truly an amazingly brilliant teacher of ACIM… Blessings to you in all ways, always.

  4. Iris Byrnes says:

    Thank you Lisa ❤
    Hugs
    I do totally agree because I am totally what Jesus paid for me all that the Word says that we are. Light for His glory and declaring the goodness of God!
    Pity or feeling sorry for myself or emotions to take over who I am is not good!!
    If things are spoken in love and to make a difference in someone’s life for good is a blessing!
    Thanks
    Hugs
    iris

  5. Jen says:

    Thank you so much for tha! Your blog has been such a gift to me.

  6. Pat Delgado says:

    Three-four years ago I had such pain in my hands that I had difficulty dressing, driving, doing everyday life. I starting reading about “my diagnosis,” talking to other people who had similar symptoms, and wondering how I was going to manage as I lived alone. I kn ew enough about Truth to know this had to stop. So I stopped “looking for cures,” and instead, many times a day (hundreds) I’d replace any thought related to the pain with either, “There is no pain in God and none in me,” or “Thank You for my healing.” I did this for months, then one day I realized my hands didn’t hurt anymore. I could lift a skillet with one hand. I could zip zippers in the back of dresses. I truly was healed. Still am. I’ll soon be 70 years old, feel great and take no medications. And I still say to myself frequently, “Thank you for my healing.”

    • Lisa Natoli says:

      Thank you with all my heart Pat for this incredible story of trust and healing!!

      • Christine Burns says:

        Thank you Lisa, I recently took you 40 day program. I got to understand the value of not telling stories, however, you brought me to another level in this post when you pointed out that my “thinking” is mostly stories I tell myself… the teaching and the learning continue!

  7. Lynne Lightowler-Buck says:

    Nailed me! You decidedly are a great gift I gave myself and I love your “in your face-ness with love from equal to equal” “Tween you and where I am in the new ACIM (Perry’s) I’m totally getting the power of thoughts. Yuck! I’ve been bad, and misunderstood these powers thinking them just ‘thoughts’ but not now . . . I’m redirected.

  8. Cara says:

    Thank you Lisa. This is what I needed to be reminded of…again. Undoing these patterns takes true effort and practice. But I am here to uncover the obstacles and blocks of the awareness of Love’s presence. I love you.

  9. Linda Richard says:

    I stayed in the mode of victim for so long, my story so deeply embedded I became ill. Through your 40 day program, Living in Purpose, attending your meetings and doing the daily application of ACIM, I am no longer exhibiting any symptoms and know to my core that I am as God created me….perfect, whole and nothing but love. I now am opening up to all of the unintended consequences of being well…no more sick days, no more excuses to not do things I don’t want to do….ha, ha, ha. I love teaching this in groups I am in….very powerful. Thank you, Dear One. We are the light of the world. Amen.

  10. Vicki poppe says:

    LISA, THANK YOU ‼‼🕊✨💫 This makes me smile and smile at the ease and EFFICIENCY that you express this with ‼‼✨🕊💖💛… what isn’t LOVE isn’t ✨☝️💫 I lOVE YOU 💛💖✨🕊🙏🎉💫🌈vicki 💖🙋🏻

  11. Pamela says:

    Sometimes tough love is the greatest love. That’s how we learn. Great post, thank you Lisa!