This may be the longest “About Me” Page you have ever seen. I want to give you everything. On this page is my story and information for self-healing that I hope can transform your life.
I teach self-healing, which means I teach people how to heal themselves.
After years of struggling with
Healing is an ability and it can be taught. More on that below.
My life is devoted to helping people to heal – to know their wholeness – healing means wholeness. This is accomplished by changing your thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, emotions and energy about yourself, others and the world.
All sickness results from unconscious guilt and the belief in separation.
All healing results from becoming conscious of unconscious guilt and correcting it with truth.
I live in Maine (near Portsmouth, New Hampshire) with my awesome husband Bill Free and our two cats, Joy (to the World) and Vana (short for Nirvana). I have always loved all things about healing, transformation, psychology & psychotherapy (specifically how the mind works and how change occurs) and that’s what this website is all about. Hope you enjoy and thanks for being here!
If you are interested in healing, check out my weekly Podcast “The Lisa Show”– there are audios and transcripts there (totally free) and the focus on those weekly talks is healing, change and transformation. If you are ready for change, I suggest you begin with Episode 1 which is about Transformation. Episode 2 is the beginning of the Healing series. You will need a journal or paper and pen for those.
My life was completely transformed by A Course in Miracles and it is my joy to teach and share the simple steps I took that others may experience freedom from fear and the peace of God, which is your natural inheritance. You are meant to be happy.
I teach people how to heal themselves with love and through training their mind to recognize their thoughts, habits, beliefs and emotions and to choose different thoughts, habits and emotions. It’s so simple. Change your mind and the world you think you see changes because the world is nothing more than a mirror reflection of your thoughts and beliefs.
I am the creator of the free 40-Day Program for Transformation, which is a really great place to get started.
On this page is my story, and information that can change your life.
“Healing is the one ability that can be developed and must be developed if you are to be healed.”
-A Course in Miracles
My definition of healing is the process of returning to the awareness of your own wholeness, innocence and holiness. The word “healing” and “health” literally means “to make whole.”
Healing is simple: to be restored to wholeness.
Since you are already whole, all healing is really a return to THE AWARENESS of your wholeness.
Once you remember your wholeness & holiness and “accept the truth of what you are and let your mind be wholly healed today” – the power of God is restored to you – and “the body’s health is fully guaranteed.” (A Course in Miracles, Workbook Lesson 136)
All sickness comes from the belief in separation, an experience of living disconnected from your Self, from others and from God. Sickness is the belief in yourself as a body, weak, frail, limited.
Healing is accomplished as your correct these thoughts (of yourself as frail, weak, limited, separate from others and separate from your Source) and replace these thoughts with the truth.
If you are experiencing symptoms, you have been living off-center from the light and love that you are, with the belief that you are separate and alone. To “be healed” is to know that you are whole and perfect; that you are not alone, and you are not separate from anyone or anything.
The YOU that is you can never be sick and can never die. You are love, eternal and changeless, pure light, connected to everyone and everything. This is your true Self.
Your false self is the body, your image, your personality, your idea of yourself as a human. When you believe you are a body, sickness and pain occur.
A healer is anyone who helps others to return to the awareness of their wholeness and holiness.
With this definition, everyone is a healer who chooses to be one.
Once you have accepted your own wholeness, you can help others to return to the awareness of their wholeness and to live consistently from this place.
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I have seen miracles occur in the lives of thousands of people around the world. Miracles can happen to you when you discover the Power and Presence of the light within you and learn how to use it.
I am the author of the best-selling book Gorgeous for God.
I love Jesus. I love God. I love writing. I love people.
My whole life I have been curious and passionate about the way the mind works and how change occurs. I LOVE SEEING PEOPLE GETTING RESULTS. I love to challenge people – to give them practices and exercises that can do to change their mind, their habits, their energy, their routines and then to see how dramatically (and quickly) their life changes. I love that.
I experienced healing in every area of my life by DOING what A Course in Miracles instructs: which is to love, give and forgive. Listen, follow and trust.
I first heard about A Course in Miracles through Marianne Williamson’s book “A Return to Love” in 1992 while living in NYC. I got a copy of A Course in Miracles and I tried to read it. It didn’t make any sense to me. It had a bunch of religious terms in it like Jesus and Holy Spirit and Christ and that initially turned me off, even though I was in equal measures fascinated by what I was reading. I tried to do the workbook lessons (always quitting on Lesson 50). I attended ACIM groups. I talked about the Course. I wondered what it meant. I did everything with that book except to do what it says. Basically I was just really confused.
On July 4, 2000 in my apartment in Park Slope, Brooklyn, I gave my life to God – even though I had no clue what this meant. I said “God, if you are there, I want to work for you now.”
I was working for a publishing company in NYC in marketing and sales, and even though I loved my work there, I felt like there was MORE.
So I devoted my life to God.
But here is the thing: not really. I didn’t have a reference for God, so I didn’t really know what that meant. I didn’t grow up with religion. My family went to a Methodist church for brief periods of time and on Christmas and Easter.
So in 2000, I SAID I was giving my life to God, but I wasn’t really ALL IN back then. It was one little toe in the water
But that one little action in my living room in Park Slope Brooklyn set me on the path.
Six days later, on July 10, 2000, I lost my publishing job due to organizational restructuring. Boy, did I laugh. I had been there 10 years and was the office darling and 6 days after telling God “I’m all yours” I lose my job. HA. I really felt the two were connected, and still do. I felt I had been hired by God and so the other job had to go.
My “plan” was to live off unemployment and my severance pay and my 401K and I had a feeling that “something would happen”. I was going to write every day and do the workbook lessons of A Course in Miracles and I was working for God!
Well. Nothing happened. My unemployment ran out. My severance pay ran out. My 401K ran out. I was drinking heavily (vodka tonics). I started smoking cigarettes again, after having been off them over 10 years. I really thought my ‘”job” with God was going to produce money or miracles (and looking back now I see my whole life as pure grace, but at the time, I was still looking for a worldly result – even though I was saying outwardly I didn’t care about money (ha!) because I was trying to be “spiritual” and I felt that my “prayers” were being unanswered)
Truth is, I didn’t know God at all. I didn’t know God because I didn’t know my Self. I was just trying to have a better improved life. I laugh now at how naive I was – a little fledgling duckling – and now I am grateful for every moment of it. But back then, in the thick of it, my life felt like one big struggle.
I SAID I was doing A Course in Miracles, but I wasn’t really. I held onto grievances believing that I couldn’t let them all go. I thought 80-90 percent was pretty good. It was only a couple of people in my life that I felt really couldn’t be forgiven. I compared myself with other people who had lots of people they couldn’t forgive and only I had a handful. Also there were a few areas of my life that I felt were best handled by me. I didn’t really think health or money were very spiritual and so I kept those to myself and let God handle the rest.
I went to a spiritual academy in Wisconsin in 2001 when I heard there was a guy who had an awakening who was called the Master Teacher. I went on what was supposed to a 30-day retreat and on my first day there, I knew I would move there. I knew I had found my teacher on this earthly plane.
Jesus was (and is) my teacher and role model since 2000 when I began learning more about him and there was a deep stirring in my heart – but when I encountered the Master Teacher, I knew that this was my earth teacher and my years there at Endeavor Academy are an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. I had a found a teacher who was completely uncompromising and that’s what I wanted and that’s what I needed.
I was there from March 2001 until September 2008 and I loved every second of it, but I was still deep in conflict, still waiting for an external result. I don’t even know what I was waiting for, but I was waiting for something! I thought I would have a mystical experience or money would fall from the sky. I don’t know what I thought would happen. The Master Teacher passed in May 2008. Those years were a fluctuation of joy and happiness and doubt and confusion. I’m grateful to have gone through it because there I was with what I consider to the be the best of the best of the best teacher on the planet and I still was stuck. It wasn’t him. He gave me everything. That Academy gave me everything. I was surrounded by love and support and teachers of God from around the world and I still was suffering.
So that began to show me that change really must come from within, and I was hell-bent on staying in conflict.
I’m grateful to have had that experience because now I understand totally when I see people struggling, I get it. They might not understand it when they are deep in confusion, chaos and doubt, but I know that is what they want because that is what they are experiencing. It may seem hard to believe, but I know its true because the instant I said “I’m done with conflict” it disappeared from my life forever. So I know now (that I did not know then) was that I wanted conflict. I thrived on conflict. I was comfortable in chaos. I felt productive and useful when there were problems for me to solve. And I felt nervous and bored when things were calm for too long. So I was constantly sabotaging peace when it would arrive. So, that showed me something significant!
And then I kept getting a really strong pull to move back to Maine and New Hampshire, which is were my family lives and I wanted to be near the ocean. At least that’s what I thought. I know now that we are always being led to the next place we need to go, and the mind makes up a story – but that’s never the reason you are going! So I thought I wanted to be closer to my mom and dad and sisters and to be close to the ocean, and to be back in New England again after 30 years of being away.
I came back here and met my future husband-to-be, Bill Free in Boston.
I went through a major revolution during this time where I realized that I needed to be “more in my body”. For years I had been very ethereal, trying to achieve a mystical or spiritual experience, always trying to leave the body, trying to deny the body, trying to be “above” being human. When I moved back to New England, I made a decision that I was going to be in the body, more grounded, more centered, more present.
For years I had been thinking (falsely) that my spiritual commitment was going to result in “God taking care of me”. HA. Again, I laugh now. But for years, I truly believed this. That if I only I could be devoted enough, all sorts of doors would fly open for me and I would heal the sick and raise the dead and move mountains and part the Red Sea.
So I had a revelation that I was just going to live my life and keep it simple. I was going to work at finding the blocks and obstacles to Love’s Presence and heal them. One of my major blocks was around money. I really shut myself down in that department, believing (again, falsely) that spiritual people didn’t have money or shouldn’t have money.
So I made a bunch of decisions: that I was going to work again, that I was going to pay my bills, that I was going get off the high horse of spirituality and come back to earth.
While I was in Wisconsin for my last 2 years there, I kept having a thought – it was like a voice in my head – that I was going to move back to New England and “plant a root.” I kept seeing a big oak tree with gigantic roots, like the trees that are thousands of years old. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I feel now that it meant that Jesus was going to work with me to ground me, center me, give me roots.
So I had no money, 10 years worth of credit card debt and no job. I’ve met this awesome guy Bill Free and we move into together. I thought about being a waitress, but I love my freedom so I decided to become certified as a Zumba instructor (because I also love dancing) and I gave classes in a local church on a donation basis. I made between $10-$40 a week. My old thought system was still operating a little bit back then and I would think thoughts like: God is going to help me. There is going to be a miracle. I kept buying lottery tickets several times a week and wishing that my life would change.
I still believed there was a God outside of me.
In spring of 2012, I made a decision to do A Course in Miracles EXACTLY as stated, no exception.
I was going to play it like a game, like a science experiment – using my life as the testing ground. I was going to live as an abundant child of God, who has everything. I stopped buying lottery tickets. In my mind, I was a generous multi-billionaire, who loves God and loves people. I made a decision to pay off my credit card debt – and I called everyone I owed money to and gave them my current address, phone and email. I only had a couple of dollars back then but I knew that didn’t matter. ALL I NEEDED WAS THE MIND-SET AND ATTITUDE OF ABUNDANCE AND JOY. I paid off the credit card debt in 9 months.
I started acknowledging Jesus in a very real way and following his instruction. I made a decision to be happy. I was going to BE the Love of God on earth, extending peace to all. I was going to see Christ in every face. It was a decision to GO ALL IN.
It was a big YES! to God.
In January 2013, I started experiencing symptoms of sickness – flu-like symptoms at first – which was later identified as an incurable autoimmune disease. So I set myself on a path to heal myself. For the next 5 years – until sometime in winter 2017 – I tried every imaginable form of healing. I read every book I could find on healing.
I went to a naturopath and spent thousands of dollars in office visits, colonics, supplements and essential oils. I tried every metaphysical treatment, every natural remedy, every alternative therapy, read every book. I took handfuls of vitamins and herbs each day. I changed my diet to what the Google searches told me had helped other people with autoimmune. I tried to do all the exercises and practices in A Course in Miracles even more perfectly, in an effort to heal.
The only thing that happened was that the symptoms kept getting worse and worse.
Sometimes, the symptoms would disappear but then they would return, worse then ever.
Then after having tried every “solution” and “cure” I could think of, I said SCREW IT to sickness. It was an “Oh My God!” A-ha moment.
That’s what most healers and teachers have been teaching for the past 150 years: Change your mind. They say things like “Heal the mind. Heal the body. Change your mind. Change your life.” And I found out that doesn’t work. That’s getting stuck at the mind level! Nothing changes there. Most books about healing try to get you to “find the cause” of your illness – and that will never work either. You get stuck in affirmations and visualizations at the thought-level – the mind-level – and that’s not where true healing occurs. You’re not a body and you’re not the mind.
In a flash, I got it. I’m whole and perfect. I am the Presence, Power, Intelligence and Love of God.
And so are you.
There is only love.
In an instant, I saw what was always there. I am Pure Presence. Pure Awareness. All light. There is nothing to heal. I saw there is no order of difficulty in miracles and no order of difficulty in healing because there is nothing to heal. The only thing to heal is the thoughts that I had been believing in all those years – that I was a body, weak, limited and fragile, separate from God, separate from myself and separate from others. When I corrected these thoughts with the truth, I entered into a state of Presence of Love and there was no going back.
I could see how afraid – terrified really – I had been of being sick and of dying. I could see my identification with the body, with the identity called “Lisa Natoli” and with the image I had made.
For those 5 years of symptoms, I was afraid that people who had looked up to me as a spiritual teacher would think I was a fraud, since I was teaching healing and here I was sick with an incurable disease. It was all ego. Therefore, I stopped “trying to heal” the body. I stopped trying to heal the mind. I stopped caring what people thought of me. It was total freedom. I realized I could be happy, in whatever condition seemed to present itself.
I threw all the supplements and pills away, every last one, even the fish oil. I quit all the healing therapies. I stopped searching Google for a cure. I’m not suggesting this for anyone else – but this was my guidance and I followed it. I stopped with the special diets.
Here is what I did:
I made a decision that I was going to be the light of the world, no matter what, even if I kept getting sicker and sicker and then died. HA! Nothing could stop me from being happy.
I decided I was going to go all the way in this lifetime – ALL IN – and BE the light that I am, accept the truth, love God, love everyone – be totally alive every day, siding with the truth.
I knew that all I wanted was to be happy and that happiness is a decision and that I was making it.
I also saw that THERE IS A SPACE between the old and the new – and in this space – where you have moved out of the old, but the new has not yet arrived – is great discomfort. The ego is dying. Your identity and image is at stake. The ego is fighting for it’s life. It’s a quiet space and all you can do here is TRUST. What most people do (what I did) was feel so uncomfortable with the quiet, that I would revert back to old ways: trying to make something happen. The thoughts in the mind were screaming: “DO SOMETHING. YOU’RE GOING TO DIE A FAILURE. EVERYONE WILL KNOW YOU’RE A FRAUD. CREATE A PROGRAM. WRITE A BOOK. DO A CLEANSE. GO ON A JUICE FAST” and I was just there, watching all this activity and doing nothing.
For about 6 months, I DID keep buying supplements. I would take them for a few weeks and then throw them away again. It was a back and forth thing for a while, because THAT SPACE was so uncomfortable. I would stop eating sugar and flour because I thought that was the problem. I would try to eat a super clean diet with only fruits, vegetables and nuts. And then I would watch THOSE thoughts.
It occurred to me that THIS is my life work – to accept the truth of myself – to go beyond the body and to go beyond the mind.
The hardest, most difficult part for me was THIS SPACE between the old and the new – and this is, for me, my focus as a teacher for others. This space is A BITCH. You feel disoriented, confused, fearful and more conflict than ever. And a lot of people arrive here, feel a moment of joy and clarity, and then, because the new hasn’t arrived yet (at least not to the body’s eyes), the mind commands you to rush back to old patterns. And off you go.
“The ego will no longer pretend to be your friend.” -A Course in Miracles
So, it’s been a process. I went through years – since January 2013 – with the mind frantically trying to get me to find a cure, a solution.
For me, there was a point when I knew: there is no going back. I was going to stand in this bitch-of-a-space and keep remembering the truth. It was the end of my image, the end of my identity, the end of Lisa Natoli.
I thought for certain I was dying all those years and then I realized that “I” was dying. The ego was dying. My image was dying. I absolutely went through a death process.
I don’t know what made me keep standing there in trust, but I’m grateful. I think mostly you get to a point where you really don’t care what anyone thinks. That’s the end of the ego, when you no longer care what people think, when you no longer care of fame, fortune, health, success. When all you want is to remember God and to BE that Love.
Whole chunks of stories I had believed in fell away – like a big iceberg falls into the water and floats away because the sun melts it. Years long grievances disappeared. I stopped attacking myself. I stopped judging myself. I stopped attacking others. I started taking care of myself – the way a loving parent takes care of a child – with compassion, kindness, gentleness, patience. Sometimes people would try to get me to explain myself – try to get me to enter into conflict with them – and I simply had no interest.
My commitment was to focus on my wholeness – 100 percent – and identify with Christ – the light of God.
I felt LIFE stirring inside of me with this decision.
I felt like I never made a move out of this empty space (between the old and the new) but instead it was as if things just started happening on their own.
My life changed as I made this decision STAND STILL AND TRUST – to BE the light of God and listen to Jesus, to be guided from within. Mostly I stopped waiting for life to happen and I stopped trying to make things happen. I saw the preciousness in everyone and everything. A lot of things dropped away. Friends dropped away and new ones arrived. I no longer had any interest in conflict and my life-long habit of people-pleasing dropped away. With a feeling of total joy, I started saying “fuck it” a lot and then just laugh out loud. I suddenly didn’t have tolerance for lack of love in others or in myself.
I am the light of the world – and THIS is what it looks like.
It was a decision to be authentic, a decision to love.
I started being more bold. Some people didn’t like it. I didn’t care.
A lot of people loved it. I stopped trying to hide the symptoms, which I had been trying to do for 5 years. I came out of the closet and said: hey, this is what I’m dealing with and I feel perfectly okay.
And suddenly there was a total lightness, no more hiding – and with that there was a peace and joy like never before.
I felt excitement to use my life as an experiment ground to LIVE the ideas in A Course in Miracles. I love the parts that say “health is guaranteed” when we accept the truth, and somewhere deep down, I knew it was true.
I felt the only reason it “hadn’t worked” for me up to that point was because I was still making exceptions. I was still living in fear and doubt. I wasn’t doing what it said. I was still waiting for a miracle. I was still hoping that I could change from external means (diet, supplements, exercise) when I was being told very directly: YOU MUST CHANGE YOUR MIND.
So, that was the beginning. I knew I had to change my mind, correct all the false beliefs.
Then I began to notice some improvement. First as a feeling of strength and confidence and joy. It was just a feeling at first. The body’s eyes were still showing me body symptoms, but I FELT different. I felt better. I felt happy. So I kept identifying with the feeling and siding with the Light and Truth as my identity.
That’s when the symptoms began to disappear – at the point when I didn’t care. I no longer cared if the body got totally sick. And I still don’t. My dedication was simply to bring the Word of God to those who have it not, to use every moment to allow the Love of God to flow through me, no longer blocking it with judgments and grievances.
I noticed an increase in energy, vitality and aliveness.
My own healing occurred as I made a decision to side consistently and wholly with the Light within – 100 percent – and work with the light, listen to it, talk with it, let it lead the way and heal the thoughts that needed correction.
So I encourage others who want healing and happiness to do what A Course in Miracles says and make no exceptions.
You can purchase a copy of A Course in Miracles by clicking on this link or on this book cover:
“Healing is accomplished the instant the sufferer no longer sees any value in pain.” -A Course in Miracles
I’m happy you are here.
The latest and greatest thing that’s got everyone talking is my new Podcast: The Lisa Show which focuses on healing, specifically on healing yourself with love, gratitude and forgiveness.
Have a listen: https://lisanatoli.com/podcast